Smash & Grab Productions

Rats has been uploaded to our films page

2007-10-29T16:54:00.000-07:00

It is finally here! Enjoy the fantastical fantasy of faux fur: RATS!

Bird Island is done!

2007-08-10T10:53:00.000-07:00

Bird Island is finally complete. You can watch it: HERE

Bird Island

2007-04-28T17:15:00.001-07:00

Will's shooting a music video!

Goals

2007-01-13T14:56:00.000-08:00

Time to re-evaluate my goals that i posted when I first got here:

Here are some goals:
Short term
1) I want to write everyday. (check)
2) I want to work out three times a week. (nope)
3) I want to make more film contacts. (check)

Mid-Term
1) I want a job in the film or television industry. (not really)
2) I want to make enough money to be able to save a little each month. (I do have a savings account, but there aint much in it.)
3) I want to have a film team that I trust. (Rene, Jocelyn, Blake, Akira, Kim, Lance, etc. check)

Long term
1) I want to have a feature length project ready to pitch to the studios. (working on it)
2) I want to know how to pitch to a major studio. (no idea)
3) I want to be making a living working on movie or television sets. (not even close)

Morton's Steak House

2006-12-04T14:16:00.001-08:00

I recently dined at Morton's, one of the finest steakhouses in Hollywood. It was a gift to my sister for housing me during the two months where I struggled to find a place to live. My sister and I dressed up in our finest, Alison in some designer black dress and me with an orange button down shirt and black tie. We walked in without reservations and got a seat in the middle of the restaurant.

Our waiter arrived pushing a cart with lobster, steak, crab and other fine dining cuisine. Then, after he told us the specials, he leaned in close and whispered, "You see that blond woman in the back? That's Jessica Simpson." The waiter said it in such a way as to be both impressed with himself and sexually hungry. Loosely translated, "Did you know CELEBRITIES come here? Yes, CELEBRITIES. I would definitely like to ride the skin bus to tuna town with that one." I agreed and ordered the cheapest thing I could find on the menu. I believe it was glorified macaroni and cheese, costing no less than twenty dollars.

Alison and I, not wanting to be outdone by CELEBRITIES, enjoyed ourselves immensely by making fun of each other, making fun of other people, and telling silly stories about nothing. Boisterous laughter ensued and we received more than a couple looks from the CELEBRITY table.

After dinner I needed to relieve myself. I headed to the bathroom and happened to pass by Jessica Simpson's table. Not wanting to seem over eager I tried my hardest not to look, but on the way out I caught her eye and gave her a wink. I was too embarrassed to look back at her table after that and see her reaction, but hey, at least I can say, at that moment, that maybe I made Jessica Simpson feel a little something for the boy in an orange button down and black tie. Then we finished our meal and left.

Pyramid Scheme

2006-11-09T21:14:00.003-08:00

I think I got myself involved in one. I'll let you know how it turns out. In the meantime, let me tell you about a wonderful opportunity...

Oh, and did I say someone shit in my car? I meant shit ON my car. Literally, someone took a dump on my car then smeared it around with newspaper. Sigh.

Forged on the Anvil of Necessity

2006-11-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

I have applied to 10 jobs a day, every day, for the last week. I have heard only 3 responses. No, no, and maybe. I got a fifty dollar ticket, my old boss chewed me out for being an idiot, and someone took a shit in my car. It's just the bad before the good, right? RIGHT?

Halloween: Not just for whores anymore!

2006-10-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

What is the deal with every girl dressing up as a total skank for Halloween? They can't just be a devil, they have to be a Sexy devil, a Sexy nun, or a Sexy Condoleezza Rice. Put some thought into it girls! I mean, I enjoy the eye candy as much as anyone, but Halloween is not about looking sexy-- it's about having fun and using an iota of brainpower to come up with a decent costume! The best costumes are the ones with a lot of thought behind them, not a lot of lace and a millimeter wide thong strap.

I wrote that last section before going out last night. Now my statement reads like this:

Girls should wear more revealing clothing for Halloween. Skin is definitely the sexiest costume one could have. A group of scantily clad women persuaded me that this was the best choice. We got into an argument, and they won. They won by a mile.

Rule #9:
An obvious one. Be passionate about the story you are telling. If you wouldn't want to see it, then no one else will either.

Born in the USA

2006-10-22T12:24:00.000-07:00

I just took this picture with my little camera imbedded in my i-mac. This is what I look like in the morning.

I went back to Berkeley last weekend. It was a little slice of the good life. My parents spoiled me with good food, good company, and most of all, good air. Yes, as some of you might know, the city of angels is no heaven when it comes to its air. It smells and breaths like an old bum shambling along the path to Dirtsville. Berkeley smells like a freshly laundered dove hovering in the evening light. Enough of the poetry, I like Berkeley's air, I don't like LA's.

As for the job hunt I have no idea what I'm going to do. I was thinking about getting a job at Gold's gym, so I can at least have a something that pays while I hunt for a job in my passion field. Think of it, seeing me at the front desk would probably make anyone want to start working out. If I don't work at Gold's gym then maybe an assistant to some eccentric director who will fly me, and his tiny crew, to the middle of the Amazon to do a documentary on some shaman. I can dream can't I?

I'm running low on inspiration to write. So if the readers have any questions I would be more than willing to field them. Thanks.

Rule #8: Go out and make shorts in LA. You will start to discover what it takes to assemble a crew, production equipment, and money. Once you have a few shorts completed and you have assessed where to go for the best deals then you start working on your feature.

Censorship

2006-10-16T00:48:00.000-07:00

I really appreciate the positive comments and feedback from my readers. I was thinking for a split second that maybe I should curb my outrageous tendencies to illuminate the more crude avenues of my brain. Then I thought, fuck it, I can't limit myself. The sharp edge is what drives me to write more.

I might be getting a PAID position as a personal assistant to some billionaires. Here's the story.

I drive up to a citizen Kane-like mansion in the Hollywood hills to get a check for my boss. The gates open wide and I realize that it's the house where they shot the first two seasons of entourage. A petite Asian women descends the stairs that look like they belong in a French perfume commercial. I greet her with a smile and a nod and she offers for me to follow her inside. She gives me an informal interview and we talk about where she was at my age.

After receiving her MBA and masters from Columbia she went to wall street, then started a software company and sold it back to her previous employer for a couple million. She struck me as a smart, outgoing, and ruthless business woman. Someone I could definitely learn from.

I'm going to call Monday and see if the job is still available. If it isn't, I think there's an opening at hooters.

My house is slowly turning into a home. If anyone would like to write, send gifts, or visit the address is
(DELETED BY USER)

Some News

2006-10-12T11:51:00.000-07:00

This will be a brief entry because I just received internet in my NEW HOME! That's right, my new home is an elegant apartment comprised of three bedrooms, a spacious living room, two bath, and a luxurious kitchen/dining room. I couldn't ask for more, except maybe a pool, a sauna, some girls, and a refrigerator full of crystal.

News:
I went to the grudge 2 premiere because my boss thought I did a good job when his assistant was away, and he wanted to reward me. I met all the stars, except Sarah Michelle Geller who wasn't there, and I also met some of the most powerful producers in Hollywood without knowing who they were. I won them over though by making relentless fun of them. They seemed amused, but will probably have me killed in front of my family for humiliating them.

In Hawaii my cousin had the driest most Christian wedding I have ever heard about in my 22 years on this planet. My step Dad Mitch, Alison, and myself went downstairs and proceeded to order copious amounts of alcohol from the hotel bar after sitting through songs like, "Aint nothing but me and my baby Jesus," and "You are a light of shining wisdom and warmth that I can feel at night laying on top of me." The worst part about the Jesus wedding was that there were absolutely no girls who would get down because God had been there first, and let me tell you, God has a big ol' dick.

Rule 7:
Start writing a script. Go out and buy Syd Fields manual on screenwriting and Robert McKee's, "Story." Read Story then read and complete Syd's manual. Your first screenplay might be for shit, but at least you'll have a completed script to shop around.

Some Thanks are in Order

2006-10-05T16:48:00.000-07:00

When I accept the award for Best Blog Ever, this will be my acceptance speech:

First, I would like to thank Will Blank for being my wonderful editor. He takes my words and makes them sound better.

Second, I want to thank my parents for being super awesome and supporting me in whatever I choose to do.

Third, I want to thank all the readers, especially the habitual ones. By reading my blog and leaving comments you are forcing me, in a good way, to write for you.

Some News:
I went to Hawaii over the weekend. It was a great break from the stress of moving to LA. I saw my grandparents whom I haven't seen in eight years and reconnected with family. I will write the highlights later, but for now this short message will have to suffice.

Office Space: 2nd edition

2006-09-30T00:47:00.000-07:00

I was always told you dress for the job you want, not the job you have. So when I started my most recent temp job I wore dress pants, a shirt, a tie, and some really nice shoes. I shaved every day and even wore cologne. I soon found out that none of it mattered.

One day I was talking to the receptionist at the office and complaining that I didn't really like wearing a monkey suit. She said that I could wear jeans as long as they didn't have holes in them.

Every day after that I came one step closer to becoming Pigpen. I started by exchanging my dress pants for jeans. No one cared. Then I went from dress shoes to sneakers. Again, no one cared. Every day I downgraded my wardrobe a little more. I started growing out my facial hair, long wisps of pubic like strings hanging from my neck. I kept going: exchanging collared shirts for t's, not combing my hair and finally, skipping showers for days at a time. Each day I reported to my corner conference room, think Brazil only with more ducts, and did my job looking like complete shit.

My last day it started raining on me... inside.

Around lunchtime I heard a rumbling and assumed it was my stomach. Then I heard a dripping sound. I looked up from my desk and saw the ceiling ballooning out above me. I watched the balloon cry a small, pathetic tear that rolled down the wall and onto the carpet. I realized the building must have been weeping at my departure. I got up and tenderly hugged the wall, assuring it: "It's going to be okay." Then the balloon exploded and water poured all over me, the cardboard boxes, and the cans of coke left in the corner.

God was angry that day ladies and gentlemen, and he wanted to flood that place as much as I did. I didn't have an ark, but I did select two of every office supply and got the hell out of there.

Rule #7:
Eat film books. Always be reading a film book, whether it is about lighting, sound, acting, directing, it doesn't matter. Always be learning something new about the craft.

Smash and Grab:
I'm trying to get an internship at this place that teaches Avid, FCP, and a bunch of other apps. In exchange for my work they would give me free lessons.

Office Space

2006-09-27T17:48:00.000-07:00

I just completed my first temp job in LA. Here are some funny/interesting stories from my experience:

Day in and day out I was performing the mundane task of gathering and copying invoices from an array of cardboard boxes. I think my brain shut off at around day three, and to keep itself occupied it played old Mickey Mouse steamboat cartoons for the duration.

I told my boss I couldn't find an invoice with the number 421. She looked up at me from her desk and said, "Did you try 420?" On this particular day it was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard, and I laughed right in her face. Then I tried to pretend I was coughing and covered my mouth with my jacket. Wait, this sounds like a lame story from Seventeen magazine. Maybe I'll submit it. (This is for people who have read seventeen magazine: And then my boyfriend showed up and he was like totally grossed out because I totally had SNOT all over my face...totally. Then I had my period all over his dad's new convertible. ha HA!)

While I was working in my box-filled conference room, I noticed that there were a bunch of coca-cola cans sitting in the corner. I refrigerated one before lunch and then at around 3 o'clock I drank it. I usually don't drink soda, and when I do, I prefer to avoid caffeine. It does weird stuff to my body, this time being no exception.

About 10 to 20 minutes later I started getting a REALLY big buzz. I was talking to myself and making strange contortions with my lips. Then suddenly I sprung up from my chair, pulled my shirt over my head, and shouted, "My name is cornholio. I come for your bunghole." I proceeded, under the visual protection of my four walls, to stomp around the room saying this repeatedly. My only hope was that someone on their cigarette break saw me through the window of the adjacent building. I probably made their day.

If I think of any more stories I'll post them later. I'm sure they will come to me, but for now I'M DONE! Now time to get another job...shit.

Watch this video: http://www.nervevideo.com/foundvideo/069/video.aspx?videoitemId=25

I'm obsessed.

Rule #6: Find someone really rich with no creative talent and make him or her believe you will do their idea for a movie. In the editing room, use none of their shots and all of yours. If you have to go so far as to make two completely different cuts of the same film, do it. Then take your cut and win a festival.

Internship

2006-09-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

Corner of the sky productions, owned by Dave Phillips, is a small production firm that sells scripts to major studios. They offered me a non-paying internship for two days a week, and I accepted. My duties include: reading scripts, answering phones, and running errands. Today I changed out the water filter in the community kitchen! I've hit the big time. I want you to listen to Peter Gabriels song, "Big Time," off his 1986 award winning album SO. Go download it. I'll wait.

Seriously though, CSP is a relaxing environment to work in. The boss and I hit it off right away. He told me about a huge event that he hosts annually at the sundance film festival called ChefDance. It takes the top ten chefs in the nation and sets up a makeshift restaurant in the center of Utah. The guest list is invitation only, so a lot of celebrities. He said today that I should come with him instead of volunteering through the sundance site. The only problem is that Sundance isn't until January and I doubt I can keep working for free two days a week. I guess I'll just get another temp job, but this time I'll make sure its not in the financial section of the company.

I'll know by tomorrow if I have a place to live. Pray for me.

Rule #5

Start building a contact list. Meet and connect with people who are interested in what you are interested in. Go to film festivals, work for free on sets, and get everyone's number and e-mail. Stay in touch! After a while you can always say, "I know a guy who can get that done."

Video Games

2006-09-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

Everytime someone comments, an angel gets its wings. Seriously, thank you for commenting. It makes me feel as though I'm not wasting my time.

WARNING:
People who are not in touch with their geekier sides should probably not read this. Wait until the next post, where I will talk about an assortment of freshly painted vases that I admired through a store window.

My friend Kristen invited me to the largest video game music event in the history of the world. That's right, a full orchestra playing classic video game music. It is aptly named: Video Games Live. Here's a recap of the events.

I had no idea what to expect as I approached the Hollywood Bowl wearing my best threads and rarely worn Ferragamo shoes, but I soon discovered that I was overdressed and lacking the proper frame of mind. It felt like I was back at the world sci-fi convention in Boston-- only this time, everyone was wearing video game shirts instead of storm trooper helmets. I passed a number of concession stands with greasy haired, pimply teenagers and their gothed girlfriends as I made my way to my seat.

A side note: Sometimes, but not often, I saw a guy with a face no mother could love but who had a fairly attractive female on his arm. My only explanation is that the guy somehow got them young, took them hostage and forced them to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation start to finish 1,000 times. Then, once properly brainwashed, told them that Klingons would smite them if they ever had sex with anyone else.

I found my seat and settled down for the show. First came some big time DJ guy, I don't even know his name, but he played some damn good music. It was integrated with some of the craziest CG effects that I have ever seen. Maybe I was in a suggestive state because I remember being very cold, but even so it was fantastic. Some other highlights: a live action version of Metal Gear Solid, some people in awesome FF7 costumes backed by a full orchestra and a Frogger competition played with real people. Then I got to meet everyone in the show, and when I say I met everyone, no joke. Apparently Kristen is really down with the video game crowd and was able to get me back stage. I'm sure each of the performers was very famous in their chosen field but I really didn't care. I talked to them like normal people and they responded in kind.

There was music from Mario, Zelda, Final Fantasy, Halo, Metal Gear Solid, Warcraft, Myst, Kingdom Hearts, Medal of Honor, Sonic, Tron, God of War and others. Plus there was an expanded Classic Arcade Medley featuring tributes to the games that started it all. The concert was also a big advertisement for upcoming games. That part I didn't like. Someone was charging 65 bucks per ticket, and then getting advertising revenue on top of that. That someone is making a KILLING. Maybe I'm in the wrong business...

Here are some of the people who played music for the show: BT, Steve Vai, Dweezil Zappa, and Video Game Pianist Martin Leung.

You can check out the website here: http://www.videogameslive.com/index.php?s=home

Smash and Grab:
Next week I'm going to start jumping on set to make as many contacts as I can. The only problem is that I'll want to take over. I'll keep you posted about the corner of the sky internship. It's starting next week.

The Movies

2006-09-18T23:42:00.000-07:00

I now live in the movies, or at least I live in a place where seeing movie stars happens on a regular basis. Jeff Goldblum, Keanu Reeves, Rufio from Hook, Chad Murray from One Tree Hill, Lloyd from Entourage, all have looked in my general direction. I think the next step is to approach them and offer them my autograph. Then say, "Here you go, slugger," and muss up their hair. The places I hang out are also movie-like. I keep thinking I'm going to walk around a corner and see a bunch of guys taking down lights and calling cut.

Smash and Grab Productions:
I am almost done with my temp job, but to thwart my attempts at a speedy exit the powers that be have moved me into a room with a big screen television, snack machines, a radio, a foosball table, a ping pong table and a pool table. I kid you not. I think they want me to use these things so they can fire me and claim they don't have to pay me for all my work. Well, the joke's on them. I only use these things during my lunch break, and now instead of food, fun is my lunch. I have another script to read. This one is a television pilot, oooo.

Rule #4
Find someone who is doing what you want to be doing and work for them for free.

Oh hey Mr./Mrs. Big shot, I was in the neighborhood and was wondering if you needed a bitch. Why yes, I do have experience being a brown noser.

All I am saying is there's nothing wrong with cold calling people whom you admire. Even sending an e-mail or letter a day isn't harassment until they tell you it is. So get out there and send that letter to Peter Jackson or David Lynch, because you never know.

Script Coverage

2006-09-17T11:49:00.000-07:00

Nelly Furtado has single handily brought my faith back in woman singers. Maneater is her new single, listen to it, or your day won't be as awesome. I hate you Fergi.

Rule 3:

Have two polished scripts that are ready to go if you get the proper funding.
Another note: replace as much dialogue with action as you can.

Smash and Grab Productions:
I did my first script coverage for Corner of the sky Productions. SHOUT OUT! Thank you Will Blank, Jerry Bradbury, and Cheryl Hess for all your help.

Interview

2006-09-15T13:10:00.000-07:00

Smash and Grab:
I went into an interview to talk to Dustin and David from Corner of the Sky productions. I met Dustin, a skinny spectacled guy who said that I would be coming in two times a week to help out with answering phones, running errands, and writing coverage. My first assignment is to write coverage for a untitled film about a down on his luck ex-stunt pilot who finds redemption by helping a young boy and his friends realize their dream of flying. I wrote that logline myself.

I met David who was a very energetic guy with big plans for future. He had been a literary manager for ten years and has been a producer for four. I could tell he had a lot of selling experience because he kept my interest and convinced me to work there for free. The thing he said to me that peaked my interest was this: "Jake, I have no problem listening to good ideas. If you bring me a script and I like it, I will get it sold." I figure a couple days a week can't be that bad, and if he's pulling my leg then I'll know by the end of the month. Plus this guy knows what he's doing. He has a movie with Steve Carrell, and another one with Dane Cook coming out soon. Can't hurt.

Rule #2:
No job is too small, no opportunity not worth investigating. I have found this to be true from my own experience. Example: when I went out with Alison to support her in her porn adventure I ended up not only meeting a guy who would give me a grip job, but also taking his acting job, and getting paid 100 dollars for one line. I also met a photographer named Kaden. We joked around and hit it off. When I went to the grip job I realized we were shooting at Kaden's studio, just by coincidence. Now Kaden is going to give me a heads up if there are any more film jobs. No job is too small, no opportunity not worth investigating.

Living in LA

2006-09-14T14:55:00.000-07:00

I want this blog to have laser beam focus rather than just rants, so I'm going to start imparting advice from my own experience about how to live in LA. It's going to be called, "Rules for Breaking into the Entertainment Industry." Rather than write them all at once, I will give you one Golden Rule each post.

Rules for Breaking into the Entertainment Industry

Rule #1:
Make money somewhere else before you come to LA. Los Angeles isn't that nice of a place but unfortunately LA is where the entertainment industry is. Without money to cushion the transition you will be forced into working a job you either absolutely hate or find annoying because it eats up all your time. The truth is you need to work for free to make contacts, and you won't have the time to do that if you have to get a job. Save up $6000, then take the shot. This will allow you to move into a single room in the middle of Hollywood and stay there for about 3 months before you have to get a job that pays. Remember, film and television shoots are going on ALL THE TIME, all you have to do is get there and work your ass off. By the end of the three months you have hopefully found someone who likes you enough to start paying you to help them. Cheers!

Smash and Grab Productions:
Going to an interview today. I'll keep you all posted as to how it turns out. I'm also turning in my resume to Family Guy and American Dad. It turns out that they're right downstairs from my temp job. Really nice people. Plus, you don't have to dress up in a monkey suit. All the guys there dress in flip-flops and tees.

Here are some goals:
Short term
1) I want to write everyday.
2) I want to work out three times a week.
3) I want to make more film contacts.

Mid-Term
1) I want a job in the film or television industry.
2) I want to make enough money to be able to save a little each month.
3) I want to have a film team that I trust.

Long term
1) I want to have a feature length project ready to pitch to the studios.
2) I want to know how to pitch to a major studio.
3) I want to be making a living working on movie or television sets.

Los Angeles Short Film Festival

2006-09-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

Luis, the Assistant Director from the failed movie we did a documentary about, had a short film in the LA Film Festival at the Arc Light. Blake Anderson was in town, so we headed to the theatre together. While I was waiting for the show to begin I saw an art exhibition that I really enjoyed. This photographer turned ordinary women, through lighting and make up, into 1940's starlets. The transformations were amazing. He would take ass-ugly women and somehow turn them into femme fatales that would have had anyone's tongue wagging. Also, Blake and I were hanging around outside the theatre before the show when, low and behold, Keanu Reeves walks out with a couple of his buddies. According to Blake he, "checked me out," and come to think of it, have you ever heard of Keanu having a girlfriend or some big-Hollywood relationship scandal?

The show starts and after three shorts I realize that that I am at or above the level of the films I am watching. There were a few that stood out. There was an animation piece named Memorial that blended graffiti and computer animation. Then there was another movie about getting old and not caring what people think anymore. Can't remember the title. Then Luis's film comes up. It was OK. It was about a girl losing her mother and how the father deals with it. They shot it in Mexico city with local talent. The best part, though, is that it was written by your and my favorite person: Marco Martinez Galarce. The funniest part of the show was when people started clapping after a commerical for porsche (they thought it was a short).

I got a Thai massage earlier in the day and it gave me an idea for a business that I could start. It would be called: The Cuddle Factory. There's something soothing about a 95 pound girl man-handling you like a piece of meat. That's what gave me the idea. People need cuddling, and lots of it. You come in, sit down, and order your cuddle partner out of a catalogue. Forty dollars for half an hour. A lot of people are starved for human affection, especially in LA.

Smash and Grab: I'm going on an PA interview Thursday for Corner of the Sky Productions. My contact is the producer of Evan Almighty, the sequel to Bruce Almighty starring Steve Carrell. I asked the guy today if there was room for upward mobility, compensation, or a chance to be on set. The answer to all of this was no. So, I'm going to the interview for experience but I'm definitely not accepting the job.

Finding a place to live

2006-09-09T17:49:00.000-07:00

I'm currently living in my sisters 4 foot by 4 foot apartment and out of that miniscule amount of space I call about 2 square feet my home. Needless to say, I've been a burden to my sister, or at least I feel like I've been a burden. I decided to do something about it and find my own place ASAP. I met a girl named (for the sake of privacy I'll call her) Lil, not the brightest in the bunch, but a nice girl who was looking for a roommate. Actually, if I'm going to be completely honest, Lil fell off the stupid tree because she was too stupid to realize that she had to hold on, then she fell into a pit of stupid etc. etc. Lil is a blond haired half-Asian, fake breasted, L.A. type. She's got more boobs than brains. I say all this because she screwed me at the last second out of a nice place to live.

Let me back up a second and describe to you the awful mess of a situation that I walked into. Lil's ex-roommate, who I will call from now on Mel, embezzled Lil's rent checks and spent it on drugs. So for two months Lil didn't know why she was getting eviction notices. When Lil finally confronted Mel about it, Mel fled and hasn't been heard or seen from since. She must still be alive though because last I checked her stuff was gone. That brings us to today.

Today I was all ready to sign a check and have a sweet pad of my own when the pit of stupid struck. I actually had the check out and the pen wet when Lil said that she didn't have enough money to cover the first, last and security. Now, you might be asking yourself, "Well, Jake, you should know better. This woman was obviously not on top of her shit." The thing is, I called her before this told her how much it was going to be. I TOLD HER. She wasted my time, and waited until the last second until she backed out. Now I'm angry.

Luckily I have a SINGLE room for October, but for now, I have a place to live with another of Alison's crazy friends. I can't wait :0

Smash and Grab:
I sent my spanking new resume out to a couple of HR people. I'll keep you posted. As for the Michael Mann thing it's still simmering in the back. Oh, and I have a meeting with one of my mom's old boyfriends. His name is Michael Pressman and he's pretty big time. IMDB him if you're interested.

L.A.

2006-09-08T18:37:00.000-07:00

Will Blank has inspired me with his wonderful cross country bike trip blog (http://willonabike.blogspot.com/) so I've decided to start posting on this page. I'm currently residing in Los Angeles and have been here for about a month now. I've had some adventures that I'd like to share with you in list form.

-I had a non-sexual cameo in a porn movie within my second week.
-I am temping at one of the world’s largest advertising agencies.
-I never want to be a busboy again.
-I've met a lot of nice people who want to take my money and make me work for free.
-I helped out with a music video for this artist: http://www.shannoneileen.com/
-I don't hate anything yet.

This blog will not only be about my adventures and me, it will be about the rise of Smash & Grab Productions to stardom, so check back often and send me your warmest regards. If they are lukewarm, that is ok also.

S & G on the Wholphin DVD...?

2006-06-24T21:30:00.000-07:00

Someone from the Wholphin DVD saw RATS! and thought it might fit well amongst the awesome short films on their awesome quarterly DVD. We'll see how that pans out.

If you've never heard of McSweeny's Wholphin DVD, check out the official site here. They're single handedly creating a market for short films. Jake is supposedly featured on their second issue where he won $100 as the champion of a crying contest. Cool.

Will has been gathering a lot of random footage recently and may cut it into something. A reel of pretty stuff. Maybe.

An Inconvenient Truth

2006-06-21T00:45:00.000-07:00

http://www.climatecrisis.net

If you haven't seen it already, go out and see it.

RATS! Premiere & Other News

2006-06-18T23:18:00.000-07:00

The RATS! premiere was great. People seemed very receptive and we're very happy about that. Maybe we'll post it at some point.

We also hear that our videos have a "cheering up" effect on people. So if you have an important final exam/upcoming stressful situation, watch and you may find your soul renewed. Peace!

We Caved

2006-06-09T12:03:00.000-07:00

...and finally made a myspace account. You can add us by clicking here. Let's be friends.

You can also catch us over at Youtube... if only to relieve our service provider of its bandwidth-providing duties.

Baby Faces

2006-06-05T21:50:00.000-07:00

Last part of the Canterbury Tales trilogy uploaded. Ask Jake and Will to show you their baby faces: LINK

RATS! The Musical

2006-06-05T00:46:00.000-07:00

Jake's newest project "RATS: The Musical" is premiering at the UCSC Media Theater on June 16th at 7pm. Come!

Wheat Thin Genie

2006-05-31T23:33:00.000-07:00

Hey! A new video: The Wheat Thin Genie. Need we say more? Special thanks to Vanessa and Antoine: LINK

We also created a little sub-section in "Films" for the Canterbury Tales.

Oh, and we're going to stop making videos if our friends don't start commenting in the comment boxes. Peace!

New Short Video

2006-05-29T14:57:00.000-07:00

A part of the Canterbury Tales. Short. To the point: LINK

Audio Projects

2006-05-26T11:05:00.000-07:00

One of the illustrious duo (Jake) participated in a sound production class. This is what came from it. Enjoy. I'll link it later, so just wait.

Shakespeare Nightmare

2006-05-24T17:33:00.000-07:00

Will graduated from college. He now has a BA in Comparative Literature. Congratulate him.

Here's another one of Darin's directing exercises. Originally, Jake and Will were supposed to be helping as crew, but because his actors didn't show Darin asked Jake to perform a monologue from Hamlet. Jake obliged.

Will watched this and laughed until he cried: LINK

I made a grown man cry

2006-05-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

Thats right. I made a grown man cry with my film work. He was bawling like a little school girl and telling me how great Metal Tears was. Who else can say they have had that kind of emotional influence on people. Buyakasha!

Krispy Krackers

2006-05-01T00:29:00.000-07:00

At Jon's request, we decided to post some of our (somewhat) original music. Anyone remember the Krispy Krackers? No?

Well we do.

MC Truth (the truth spitting MC) and Broken Arrow (a samurai sent from the past to save the future) are two MCs united by a common cause: player hating for life.

Welcome to "Crackerdom": LINK

Vengeful Spirit!

2006-04-26T21:38:00.000-07:00

Finally we decided to post a link to Jake and Food For the Moon's magnum opus... a samurai revenge tragedy entitled "Vengeful Spirit".

Action! Adventure! Revenge! Tragedy! Enjoy!

Click: LINK

Whitey

2006-04-14T01:42:00.000-07:00

Our friend Darin was in an acting class a few years ago. In order to get practice directing, he filmed a series of shorts around his classmate's monologues, taking each piece out of its context and placing it into an entirely different one. I guess this particular girl was doing a piece from one of Chris Durang's plays. I was asked to help out.

I am so very, very white: LINK

Enjoy

We are back up.

2006-04-12T20:33:00.000-07:00

Expect some wonderful things coming your way. Particularly exciting is Corey's debut. (Sniff) I'm so proud.

The movies work!

2006-02-13T22:09:00.000-08:00

So I re-encoded everything on the site in a more friendly quicktime format. They should be able to play as you download now. YES!

In other news, the 8mm projector I bought caught on fire the second I plugged it in. This made me very sad.

I'm also editing Long Walk and the long-awaited Care Bears in College Channel 101 submission. Expect it all up in your brain in a couple weeks.

Oh My God

2006-02-05T14:54:00.000-08:00

That's right, we made a new video. Starring Kevin Stein and Jeff Takai. Special thanks to Big D, David Smart. Watch it. Live it.

Click to view: LINK

News!

2006-01-29T14:08:00.000-08:00

So we're shooting something Monday with my buddy Kevin. Hopefully we'll have it up sometime next week. WOO!

In other news, I recently acquired a bunch of old 8mm footage of my dad when he was a kid. I'm incredibly, incredibly excited to get it working. I bought an old Kodak Brownie projector just so I can watch it.

I also came across a bunch of footage of me as a baby. I might just post some of that online for shits and giggles. Honestly, no pun intended.

Conversely, I'm scared to see the 80s again. More to come--

196A Senior Production Class

2006-01-26T12:13:00.000-08:00

I just turned in my senior production review packet. I'm pretty worried about getting into the class since there are only twenty spots and maybe fifty people applying. Word to the wise, don't come to Santa Cruz for film. Pray for me.

Big Money

2006-01-25T19:29:00.000-08:00

Two people-- Kaitlin Torp and Will Blank-- have reached out across the vast, digital wasteland we call the Internet and made a connection.

It turns out that one of Kaitlin's friends bet her 5 dollars that she couldn't Facebook friend one of the "My Humps" guys. Well, if you can't already guess where this is going, she did, and we split the winnings 50/50. I just received a check for $2.50 in the mail. Sweet!

Here's me saying "in your face!" to Kaitlin's friends, and here's me expressing genuine gratitude to Kaitlin for the substantial monetary gain. I wish the check could have been brought by Ed McMahon himself.

Kaitlin and I have very strange, very consistent Facebook conversations. Maybe we can go into business together like Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson. I get to be Wesley.

On a strange side note, here are some of the failed pictures I took of me holding the check. Some of them turned out REALLY weird, so I thought I'd share them with you: LINK1 LINK2 LINK3 LINK4

Awesome.

Brokeback Mountain

2006-01-22T16:49:00.000-08:00

I saw Brokeback Mountain a couple of days ago with Melissa Fall. We both liked it for the most part; it was a little depressing, but overall a very touching film. When I hear the theme music now I want to cry.

Enough sentimentality: here's more of Jake dressed as a devil set to funny music. At Corey's request. Right click and save: LINK

Another Bathroom Movie

2006-01-16T17:57:00.000-08:00

Hey! We finally figured out how to make this thing into a blog. PLEASE feel free to comment on the videos-- feedback is always welcome.

Speaking of videos... we present to you Smash & Grab's latest bathroom outing. Special thanks to Talia and Hilary. Right click and save: LINK

Burn This Disco Out

2006-01-15T17:56:00.000-08:00

Jake, Corey and I shot something over the weekend. To tide you over, and by popular request, we decided to post an oldie but goodie-- the MJ Vid. Right click and save: LINK

PS: I really do love Michael Jackson.

Hot off the HD

2005-12-31T17:55:00.000-08:00

Here's something Corey and I shot a couple days ago. We like to party. Right click and save: LINK

There is no way to prepare you for this video. One thing you should note, however: the crazy, shirtless man in this film is NOT Will Blank. I repeat, NOT Will Blank. Thank you. Right click and save: LINK

Moving In

2005-12-13T17:51:00.000-08:00

To celebrate the end of finals we decided to make another short film. Ever move into a new place before? Perhaps you can relate. Right click and save: LINK

My Humps

2005-12-12T17:49:00.000-08:00

In case you haven't been following the current trend on Google video, Smash & Grab has finally decided to contribute its own interpretation to the nation wide phenomenon that is "My Humps" by the Black Eyed Peas. Right click and save: LINK

Long Walk

2005-08-27T17:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since our last update, but our short film "Long Walk" just finished shooting and is currently in post-production. Thanks to all the great people that helped out with this one-- we're looking forward to the finished product.

On another positive note, Project Redlight was accepted to the California Independent Film Festival. More to come...

The day of recognition has come.

2005-06-14T17:45:00.000-07:00

Metal Tears has received a finalist award from the Baltimore Science Fiction Society for placing third in their film competition. Woo!