Office Space
I just completed my first temp job in LA. Here are some funny/interesting stories from my experience:
Day in and day out I was performing the mundane task of gathering and copying invoices from an array of cardboard boxes. I think my brain shut off at around day three, and to keep itself occupied it played old Mickey Mouse steamboat cartoons for the duration.
I told my boss I couldn't find an invoice with the number 421. She looked up at me from her desk and said, "Did you try 420?" On this particular day it was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard, and I laughed right in her face. Then I tried to pretend I was coughing and covered my mouth with my jacket. Wait, this sounds like a lame story from Seventeen magazine. Maybe I'll submit it. (This is for people who have read seventeen magazine: And then my boyfriend showed up and he was like totally grossed out because I totally had SNOT all over my face...totally. Then I had my period all over his dad's new convertible. ha HA!)
While I was working in my box-filled conference room, I noticed that there were a bunch of coca-cola cans sitting in the corner. I refrigerated one before lunch and then at around 3 o'clock I drank it. I usually don't drink soda, and when I do, I prefer to avoid caffeine. It does weird stuff to my body, this time being no exception.
About 10 to 20 minutes later I started getting a REALLY big buzz. I was talking to myself and making strange contortions with my lips. Then suddenly I sprung up from my chair, pulled my shirt over my head, and shouted, "My name is cornholio. I come for your bunghole." I proceeded, under the visual protection of my four walls, to stomp around the room saying this repeatedly. My only hope was that someone on their cigarette break saw me through the window of the adjacent building. I probably made their day.
If I think of any more stories I'll post them later. I'm sure they will come to me, but for now I'M DONE! Now time to get another job...shit.
Watch this video: http://www.nervevideo.com/foundvideo/069/video.aspx?videoitemId=25
I'm obsessed.
Rule #6: Find someone really rich with no creative talent and make him or her believe you will do their idea for a movie. In the editing room, use none of their shots and all of yours. If you have to go so far as to make two completely different cuts of the same film, do it. Then take your cut and win a festival.
Day in and day out I was performing the mundane task of gathering and copying invoices from an array of cardboard boxes. I think my brain shut off at around day three, and to keep itself occupied it played old Mickey Mouse steamboat cartoons for the duration.
I told my boss I couldn't find an invoice with the number 421. She looked up at me from her desk and said, "Did you try 420?" On this particular day it was the most hilarious thing I had ever heard, and I laughed right in her face. Then I tried to pretend I was coughing and covered my mouth with my jacket. Wait, this sounds like a lame story from Seventeen magazine. Maybe I'll submit it. (This is for people who have read seventeen magazine: And then my boyfriend showed up and he was like totally grossed out because I totally had SNOT all over my face...totally. Then I had my period all over his dad's new convertible. ha HA!)
While I was working in my box-filled conference room, I noticed that there were a bunch of coca-cola cans sitting in the corner. I refrigerated one before lunch and then at around 3 o'clock I drank it. I usually don't drink soda, and when I do, I prefer to avoid caffeine. It does weird stuff to my body, this time being no exception.
About 10 to 20 minutes later I started getting a REALLY big buzz. I was talking to myself and making strange contortions with my lips. Then suddenly I sprung up from my chair, pulled my shirt over my head, and shouted, "My name is cornholio. I come for your bunghole." I proceeded, under the visual protection of my four walls, to stomp around the room saying this repeatedly. My only hope was that someone on their cigarette break saw me through the window of the adjacent building. I probably made their day.
If I think of any more stories I'll post them later. I'm sure they will come to me, but for now I'M DONE! Now time to get another job...shit.
Watch this video: http://www.nervevideo.com/foundvideo/069/video.aspx?videoitemId=25
I'm obsessed.
Rule #6: Find someone really rich with no creative talent and make him or her believe you will do their idea for a movie. In the editing room, use none of their shots and all of yours. If you have to go so far as to make two completely different cuts of the same film, do it. Then take your cut and win a festival.
posted by Will at 5:48 PM
3 Comments:
what the hell are you doing reading seventeen magazine? even seventeen year old girls don't like that magazine. and oh, how i wish i had been in the building opposite yours- it really would have made my day.
The steamboat cartoon image made me laugh out loud. Rule #6 is good. Rule #5 though, seems like rehash. Kill it?
so like when you make it really huge in the business you should splurge and order the Aussie Makeover for all female employees. hehehe
ps... laughing in your bosses face is nothing to hide. do it with pride. haha that rhymed! gimme a grammy.
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