Halloween: Not just for whores anymore!

What is the deal with every girl dressing up as a total skank for Halloween? They can't just be a devil, they have to be a Sexy devil, a Sexy nun, or a Sexy Condoleezza Rice. Put some thought into it girls! I mean, I enjoy the eye candy as much as anyone, but Halloween is not about looking sexy-- it's about having fun and using an iota of brainpower to come up with a decent costume! The best costumes are the ones with a lot of thought behind them, not a lot of lace and a millimeter wide thong strap.

I wrote that last section before going out last night. Now my statement reads like this:

Girls should wear more revealing clothing for Halloween. Skin is definitely the sexiest costume one could have. A group of scantily clad women persuaded me that this was the best choice. We got into an argument, and they won. They won by a mile.

Rule #9:
An obvious one. Be passionate about the story you are telling. If you wouldn't want to see it, then no one else will either.

Born in the USA

I just took this picture with my little camera imbedded in my i-mac. This is what I look like in the morning.

I went back to Berkeley last weekend. It was a little slice of the good life. My parents spoiled me with good food, good company, and most of all, good air. Yes, as some of you might know, the city of angels is no heaven when it comes to its air. It smells and breaths like an old bum shambling along the path to Dirtsville. Berkeley smells like a freshly laundered dove hovering in the evening light. Enough of the poetry, I like Berkeley's air, I don't like LA's.

As for the job hunt I have no idea what I'm going to do. I was thinking about getting a job at Gold's gym, so I can at least have a something that pays while I hunt for a job in my passion field. Think of it, seeing me at the front desk would probably make anyone want to start working out. If I don't work at Gold's gym then maybe an assistant to some eccentric director who will fly me, and his tiny crew, to the middle of the Amazon to do a documentary on some shaman. I can dream can't I?

I'm running low on inspiration to write. So if the readers have any questions I would be more than willing to field them. Thanks.

Rule #8: Go out and make shorts in LA. You will start to discover what it takes to assemble a crew, production equipment, and money. Once you have a few shorts completed and you have assessed where to go for the best deals then you start working on your feature.

Censorship

I really appreciate the positive comments and feedback from my readers. I was thinking for a split second that maybe I should curb my outrageous tendencies to illuminate the more crude avenues of my brain. Then I thought, fuck it, I can't limit myself. The sharp edge is what drives me to write more.

I might be getting a PAID position as a personal assistant to some billionaires. Here's the story.

I drive up to a citizen Kane-like mansion in the Hollywood hills to get a check for my boss. The gates open wide and I realize that it's the house where they shot the first two seasons of entourage. A petite Asian women descends the stairs that look like they belong in a French perfume commercial. I greet her with a smile and a nod and she offers for me to follow her inside. She gives me an informal interview and we talk about where she was at my age.

After receiving her MBA and masters from Columbia she went to wall street, then started a software company and sold it back to her previous employer for a couple million. She struck me as a smart, outgoing, and ruthless business woman. Someone I could definitely learn from.

I'm going to call Monday and see if the job is still available. If it isn't, I think there's an opening at hooters.

My house is slowly turning into a home. If anyone would like to write, send gifts, or visit the address is
(DELETED BY USER)

Some News

This will be a brief entry because I just received internet in my NEW HOME! That's right, my new home is an elegant apartment comprised of three bedrooms, a spacious living room, two bath, and a luxurious kitchen/dining room. I couldn't ask for more, except maybe a pool, a sauna, some girls, and a refrigerator full of crystal.

News:
I went to the grudge 2 premiere because my boss thought I did a good job when his assistant was away, and he wanted to reward me. I met all the stars, except Sarah Michelle Geller who wasn't there, and I also met some of the most powerful producers in Hollywood without knowing who they were. I won them over though by making relentless fun of them. They seemed amused, but will probably have me killed in front of my family for humiliating them.

In Hawaii my cousin had the driest most Christian wedding I have ever heard about in my 22 years on this planet. My step Dad Mitch, Alison, and myself went downstairs and proceeded to order copious amounts of alcohol from the hotel bar after sitting through songs like, "Aint nothing but me and my baby Jesus," and "You are a light of shining wisdom and warmth that I can feel at night laying on top of me." The worst part about the Jesus wedding was that there were absolutely no girls who would get down because God had been there first, and let me tell you, God has a big ol' dick.

Rule 7:
Start writing a script. Go out and buy Syd Fields manual on screenwriting and Robert McKee's, "Story." Read Story then read and complete Syd's manual. Your first screenplay might be for shit, but at least you'll have a completed script to shop around.

Some Thanks are in Order

When I accept the award for Best Blog Ever, this will be my acceptance speech:

First, I would like to thank Will Blank for being my wonderful editor. He takes my words and makes them sound better.

Second, I want to thank my parents for being super awesome and supporting me in whatever I choose to do.

Third, I want to thank all the readers, especially the habitual ones. By reading my blog and leaving comments you are forcing me, in a good way, to write for you.

Some News:
I went to Hawaii over the weekend. It was a great break from the stress of moving to LA. I saw my grandparents whom I haven't seen in eight years and reconnected with family. I will write the highlights later, but for now this short message will have to suffice.